(Note: This entry includes affiliate links.)
I want to preface this by saying that I hold no guilt for those who have tried anti-depressants, particularly SSRIs, especially as I am one of them. However, with the growing research showing SSRIs have no more of an effect than a placebo, I think other options with less side effects need to be brought to the attention of the public, especially because the battle with depression is real. I was on Zoloft for 15 years, but I regret that I was on it that long. I have absolutely suffered side effects of long-term use. In 2019, a family doctor told me she believed I had built up a tolerance to it, and she was worried about heart health. She wanted me to wean off Zoloft and onto another SSRI, such as Lexapro or Prozac.
At that point in my life, I wanted to try going off antidepressants. I began to doubt that an SSRI was the answer. I sought out a functional doctor to help me navigate away from SSRIs. Today, I am so glad I did. A new study showed no difference in serotonin levels of the blood and brain between people with depression and those without. Other studies showed no difference in a serotonin receptor between people with and without depression, and another study even showed increased serotonin in those with depression. Even when serotonin was purposefully lowered, depression did not increase. Click here to read more on serotonin.
I slowly weaned from 100mg of Zoloft to 50mg and then 25mg before coming off it. This was over the course of several months, and each decrease caused withdrawal symptoms. I checked in with my functional doctor throughout the process. However, once I was done, I felt really great, and I discovered ways to fight anxiety and depression using natural remedies.
The first thing I did – perhaps the most effective thing – is that I started eating clean. I cut out all artificial food dyes and artificial flavors. I cut out GMOs. I limited processed foods, and when they are processed, I only buy things with ingredients I can pronounce. I make things from scratch for meals and sometimes snacks. I buy organic when possible. I do whole food vitamins instead of synthetic. This was a BIG change for me because I lived on Froot Loops, Lucky Charms, Hamburger Helper, Twinkies, Dunkaroos, Mountain Dew, and Pepsi, but I promise that it is entirely possible to make this lifestyle change. Financially, my ingredients cost more, but I snack less, and I have had only one sick visit in six years of eating clean, whereas before, I was in the doctor’s office once every month or two, so it evened out for me financially. But what also evened out was my mood and stress response. This is because the gut and the brain are connected, and the health of the gut has a direct affect on the health of the brain. Read more about the gut-brain connection here. And if you are still worried about getting enough serotonin, did you know that about 95% of serotonin is produced not in the brain, but in the gut? I do eat junk food sometimes, especially when I’m traveling, but when I do for more than a few days, I definitely feel the effect. The anxiety starts to climb, and I know I need to get back to eating real food.
The second thing I did was start a magnesium glycinate supplement. There are many forms of magnesium. My doctor and I chose glycinate because it has no laxative effect, and it is well-known for increasing relaxation, easing anxiety, and decreasing muscle tension. My doctor had me take 200mg once per day (except when I was pregnant, then I was instructed to take 200mg twice daily). I prefer the brand Nested Naturals because the capsule ingredients are pretty clean. It’s available on Amazon as well.
I did really well for about 6 months just eating clean and adding magnesium glycinate. When the Covid shutdowns happened in March 2020, and I was forced to stop teaching and stop worshipping at church, my anxiety skyrocketed. I started having heart palpitations, and I had intense fear of the future. I also felt extremely isolated because my fears were the opposite of most people’s, so I couldn’t even talk through it. I knew I needed something to help calm the anxiety, but I was still not interested in Rx anti-anxiety medication.
I had been very wary of CBD. I was nervous about psychological effects. I was nervous about how to find a good brand. I was nervous about affording it. So I dove into research about the body’s natural endocannabinoid system, learning that it is a biological system in the body that helps regulate numerous things such as sleep, appetite, mood, and more. I also learned that CBD with 0.3% THC does not have psychoactive effects. I decided to use Earthley’s Anxiety Calm Oil because they source their CBD from Flora Sophia Botanicals, which uses no pesticides and only organic fertilizer, and they extract the CBD using pure organic ethanol rather than hexane or chemical solvents. Earthley blends their CBD with hemp seed oil rather than MCT oil, for a synergistic effect. In addition, they have three different formulas. Formula P is CBD in plain hemp seed oil. Formula C is CBD with the stress-relieving herbs of lavender, lemon balm, and holy basil. (I use Formula C.) Formula A is the calming herbs in hemp seed oil with no CBD for those who cannot have CBD.
I started out doing just 2 drops per day. I did have vivid dreams to start out with, but that stopped after a week or two. I felt a lot calmer and had no heart palpitations after a few days. Within two weeks, I felt very calm and stable, like I could handle my stressors – even all the ones brought on by 2020. An average dose is 5 drops per day. I found that 3 drops is enough for me. I do take more if I’m going through a very stressful situation. I really like the conveniency of being able to control my dose according to what life events I am going through and what my body needs.
I do also keep Earthley’s Anxiety Relief Herbal Extract on hand for more stressful days. Although this can be used daily, I personally just use it occasionally. This is an herbal tincture containing lavender, St. John’s Wort, ashwagandha, chamomile, and catnip (all organic) in a base of organic cane alcohol. Adults can take 10-20 drops two to three times per day. Children ages six to 12 can take five to 10 drops two to three times per day. I choose this when I cannot get my mind to stop obsessing over a specific concern or worry, when my brain feels amped up with anxiety. I feel relaxed after taking it, but not drugged.
One other thing to check out is hormones, especially if you have had a baby or have gone through another large hormone change, such as menopause. For years, doctors told me my Post Partum Depression and Anxiety (PPD/A) was due to serotonin, and I needed to increase Zoloft or add more antidepressants. After my second baby was born in 2018, my PPD/A was so debilitating, I could not care for my children, and I was suicidal, completely convinced my family was better off without me. Antidepressants weren’t working. Counseling wasn’t working. Community and family support weren’t working. I finally found a doctor who understood and taught me that progesterone drops after delivering a baby, which can cause “baby blues.” For some women, it plummets, and that causes PPD/A. If hormones have such an effect on emotions during pregnancy, it makes sense that it is hormones that have an effect on PPD/A. When that doctor started me on progesterone shots, I had improvement within an hour of the first dose. Later, my functional doctor did the DUTCH test, which is a home urine test done throughout the day so that the results are not a one-time glimpse at your hormone levels but show how they fluctuate throughout the day. You can read more about my experience with that here.
Although anxiety is my main issue, depression also creeps in for me. I hate to admit it, but exercise has really helped with this. Let me be clear: I do not enjoy exercise. I cannot wait until it’s done. I will not do it where people can see me. But when I do exercise daily, there is a noticeable difference in my level of motivation. If you hate exercise as much as I do, I encourage you to find a form that you can tolerate. For me, I do Beach Body Morning Meltdown. This works for me because it only lasts 20 minutes, I can keep track of my progress in the increasing weight I can lift, and I can do it in my basement alone. It has also really boosted my confidence to see my muscle mass improve and as I grow in trusting my body’s capabilities.
Lastly, counseling is crucial. I have been through many counselors. I’ve had to say goodbye to some because I moved a lot. Others, I had to let go because we just did not click. I am still in counseling for the simple fact that I have found an incredible Christian counselor who is invaluable in helping me take apart a stressful situation and put it back together in a way I can handle. I encourage you to find a counselor or even a mentor, teacher, or pastor whom you trust and who can give you time and advice.
I took my last dose of Zoloft on August 21, 2019. I have been off Rx antidepressants for three years, and I’m really excited about that, especially because I feel good. What I have learned has taken me even further from the stigma that mental health is just all in the head, that people need to just get it together. Mental health struggles are a symptom showing you that your body needs something – whether it be nutrition or hormone balance or eliminating bad ingredients. It’s been very empowering to know that I can control what goes into my body, that I can alter it based on what I need from one day to the next, and that I’m not doomed to live with life-long anxiety and depression because there is a theory that something is wrong with my brain. It’s been a very freeing experience.
If you are looking for a change or for a way to support your body – and therefore your mind – I promise the answer is there. And if something doesn’t work, that’s ok! It isn’t defeat. You are unique, and healthcare is not one-size-fits-all. I tried a few other things I didn’t list here that didn’t work well or only worked temporarily, but I kept searching. Keep up your search until you discover what it is your unique self needs.
broken quiet 