The Story Behind Our Daughter’s Name

My husband and I have chosen the name Esther for our daughter, who is due to be born this autumn. A lot of people have been asking about it, since it’s not a popular name, some people don’t think it’s very pretty, and many aren’t familiar with the biblical account of Esther. But there is a lot of meaning behind our daughter’s name, and I think it’s a pretty neat story to share with you.

Having gone through church and Christian education all my life, I’m fairly familiar with all the accounts and people in the Bible. However, in high school, I discovered that the Book of Esther never once mentions God, nor is it ever quoted elsewhere in the Bible. Why is a godless historical account in our Bible? I wondered. I wasn’t very impressed with the story either. Big deal, a woman was considered very beautiful, chosen to be queen, and then she stood up to her husband. Who cares? However, once I realized how powerful her husband was, the position of women in ancient Persian culture, and the Hitler-like intentions of the king’s highest official, I suddenly realized Esther was not just a pretty face, but a very brave woman. I wanted to know more about her.

Those who know me well know that we have been praying for a child for some time now. Month after month of repeated failure began to wear me down. I often had to excuse myself when friends announced their second or third pregnancies. I began to fear I wasn’t meant to be a mother, if I was meant to forever take care of other people’s children through nannying and teaching. (Not that nannying and teaching is dreadful, and not that not being a mother is wrong. I simply mean that I didn’t understand why God would give me such a strong feeling of being called to be a mom and then denying me that calling.) What would God say to me if I could hear Him? Did God even hear me?

Six months passed, and I came across a book in our church library called Esther: A Woman of Strength and Dignity by Charles R. Swindoll. I had read the Book of Esther several times and enjoyed the movie, One Night with the King, but I had never read a book about the account of Esther. I snatched it up, began reading, and saw Esther’s world through new eyes.

Ahasuerus (or Xerxes) was the king of Persia around 485-465 B.C. Jerusalem had been destroyed; the Jews were in exile and were permitted to live in Persia. One of these exiled Jews was named Mordecai, and another was his niece, Hadassah, also called Esther, who was an orphan. King Xerxes was a party kind of guy who loved his banquets. He gave a banquet that lasted 180 days and then a second banquet that lasted for seven more days. Meanwhile, Queen Vashti gave a separate banquet for the women of the palace. On the seventh day of this second banquet, Xerxes ordered Vashti to come to his banquet to display her beauty. Swindoll writes, “Scholars have wrestled with the meaning of the king’s command. Some suggest it simply means that Vashti was to come unveiled, which would have been scandal enough in a Persian court. Others suggest that she was to come wearing only her crown, which would have been another kind of scandal” (pg 29). Either way, Vashti held on to her dignity and refused Xerxes’ order. As a result, the king’s advisers believed that Vashti’s actions would send a message to all women that it was acceptable to disobey their husbands. They advised Xerxes to remove Vashti from position of queen. Swindoll points out the significance of this decision: “Memucan wanted this edict written in to the law of the Medes and the Persians – the law which can never be changed. In that way, his suggestion would affect far more than Vashti; it would have a direct effect on everyone’s marriage” (pg. 29). Not only was Xerxes a party guy, but he was quick to act, even on bad advice, and his decision was made in “a moment of drunkenness and anger” (pg. 31). Xerxes certainly is not the type of man to whom I would want to be married!

Years pass, and Xerxes attempts to conquer Greece but returns home defeated. His advisors say, “Let beautiful young virgins be sought for the king” (Esther 2:2), and it was decided that Xerxes would take a new wife from among these virgins. “Josephus, the Jewish historian, tells us there were as many as 400 women involved,” says Swindoll (pg. 42).  These women would have one year to have oils and cosmetics applied to their bodies to make them “more beautiful,” and to be trained in the arts of elegance and seduction. After one year’s time, each woman would have one night with the king, and then Xerxes would choose his new queen.

“Esther was taken into the king’s palace” (Esther 2:8). Swindoll explains the possible meanings of the passive verb “was taken.” “This verb can mean ‘taken by force,’ and is so rendered in other parts of the Old Testament. Some Jewish scholars give that interpretation in this passage. I don’t know if there was coercion involved; we’re not told that Esther was ‘forced’ to go. But I think it would be fair to say that there was reluctance on her part. Just stop and think: Why would a young Jewess want to get involved in a plan that would force her to leave the only family she had, under the guardianship of one she respected and loved, Mordecai? Why would she want to spend a year shut away in a harem, culminating in a night with a heathen king that might result in the possibility of intermarriage outside her race? No question, I think it’s safe to say she went reluctantly” (pg. 43).

“Imagine the petty rivalries, the in-fighting, the envy, and the jealousy,” Swindoll says. “Imagine how tough it would be to maintain spiritual equilibrium when everything and everyone around you is emphasizing only the condition and shape of your body and the beauty of your face. How demeaning! How temporary and empty!” (pg 45). When I envision this scene in history, I picture scenes from the TV show, The Bachelor. I’ve seen a few episodes because I enjoy the psychology in it. Here is one man surrounded by beautiful women who have various personalities, and he has to pick one. Will he choose the super sexy woman with no morals or maturity? Or will he choose a woman based off her personality? It’s interesting. But when I imagine myself being one of those women, my stomach churns. I would feel so pressured to compare my beauty to the beauty of all those women around me. I would give into body-shaming myself. I would be tempted to let down my Christian morals in the face of all the cliques and gossiping among the women and the hope that the one man finds me more attractive than they.

But Esther is different. Esther 2:9 says, “Now the young lady pleased [Hegai, the manager of the harem] and found favor with him.” A literal translation of the original language says, “She lifted up grace before his face” (Swindoll, 44-45). Wow. Would I “lift up grace” in that situation? Would I remember my faith and my character and my dignity in the midst of all that carnal pleasure?

As a result of Esther’s grace and character, she is chosen to be queen!

It’s time to introduce the next important historical person in this account: Haman. He is the king’s highest official in all of Persia, whose anti-Semitic beliefs are established in his Amalekite roots. When Mordecai, the Jew, the uncle of Esther, refused to bow down to Haman, Haman’s anger turns from hatred to extermination. He brings up this plan to Xerxes, to kill all the exiled Jews throughout the Kingdom of Persia and take their plunder. Xerxes, once again making rash decisions, goes along with Haman’s plan and gives Haman his signet ring to seal the decree in the law of the Medes and Persians – a decree that cannot be revoked. Haman sealed the decree in the first month of the year with the plan to be carried out in the twelfth month. This means the genocide would not happen immediately; instead, the Jews’ doom would hang over their heads for a year. Esther’s Haman is basically our Hitler.

Eventually, Esther approaches her husband without being summoned – an action she could pay for with her life. Instead, Xerxes asks her what is troubling her, and promises to give her whatever she asks. This is a moment I would have gushed and blubbered and said, “Haman wants to kill all the Jews, and I’m a Jew, and those are my people. Stop him!” Instead, Esther invites Xerxes and Haman to a banquet she has prepared for them. She is waiting on the Lord. She is not acting in a state of revenge or despair; she is acting on faith. She is open to the unexpected, and she is waiting for God to work His will – not her will.

At the banquet, Esther still does not say what is bothering her. She simply invites the king and Haman to another banquet the next night, and says she will give the king her request then. (And we know Xerxes loves his banquets, and Haman is loving this special attention with the king and queen.) Again, the emotional human in me is screaming at Esther, “Why are you so calm? Why aren’t you begging for the lives of you and your people at the king’s feet?” But again, she is waiting on the Lord, as Swindoll explains: “Esther had a sensitive ear, a wise heart; she sensed something wasn’t quite right. So she didn’t push it. She knew when to act – and when to wait. Are you as sensitive as that? Do you know when to listen? Do you know when to speak up – and when to keep silent? Do you know how much to say as well as when to say it? Do you have the wisdom to hold back until the right moment? Are you sufficiently in tune with God to read His subtle signals? (pg. 130) Ecclesiastes 3:1,7 – “There is a time for every event under heaven… a time to be silent, and a time to speak.” I might not be as sensitive as Esther to know when to wait on God, but I want to be! And this is something I will practice.

So what does the Lord do during this time between Esther’s two banquets? Haman, while his pride is at its highest, is walking home when he runs into Mordecai, who will still not bow to Haman. Haman becomes angry all over again, because he can never have enough. This one Jew has ruined his happy evening. Haman focuses on what he wants rather than what he already has. When he talks to his wife about this, she advises him to make gallows for Mordecai. Haman went to bed listening to the sound of the gallows for Mordecai being built. Meanwhile, at the palace, the king could not sleep, so he read the book of records and found where it was written that Mordecai had once saved the king by revealing the plan of two eunuchs to kill the king. Xerxes asked what had been done to honor Mordecai for this, and when he learns nothing had been done, he makes plans to honor Mordecai.

The next morning, Xerxes called Haman in and asked, “What is to be done for the man whom the king desires to honor?” (Esther 6:6) Haman immediately assumes the king wishes to honor him, and he suggests that the man to be honored be given one of the king’s royal robes, one of the king’s horses, one of the king’s crowns, and have him be lead on horseback throughout the city. Xerxes agrees to this… and then tells Haman to do so to Mordecai – the very man for whom Haman had gallows built! What a slap in the face! What a turn of the tables that is so meaningful, it can be no coincidence, but only the hand of God at work!

At the second banquet, the king once again asks what Esther wants and promises to give it to her. She replies that her life and the lives of her people are to be annihilated, and she requests that these be given to her. Xerxes asks her who has done this to his queen. She responds “A foe and an enemy is this wicked Haman!” (Esther 7:6) Another coincidence that is a testimony to God’s sovereignty and active plan in Esther life: Xerxes then orders that the gallows Haman had built for Mordecai be used on Haman, himself!

Xerxes had Esther write a new decree allowing the Jews to defend themselves, which he had her seal with his signet ring. The Jews were saved, and they celebrated with a feast – a feast still celebrated by Jews to this day – the Feast of Purim. “The gladness of their hearts, the joy on their faces, the delight in their dancing, the overall, unrestrained fun among them attracted others to their Lord. It always will. People cannot stay away from the audacious joy of God’s people! (Swindoll, 150-151)

In summary: Esther rocks!

One of the great things about Charles Swindoll’s book are his comments that highlight the silent activity of God. God may seem silent, and His silence may seem unfair – especially as we watch the joy of others while we are desperately waiting for our own prayers to be answered. But God’s silence is not His absence. If God can take an exiled orphan girl, make her into a queen, and use her to save His people from a man similar to Hitler, all without Him audibly speaking to His people, then surely He is active in my life as well. I’ve certainly never heard God speak, nor have I ever received a message in a dream or a vision, but there are too many coincidences in my life that have brought me out of the darkest depths of depression and given me the hope of Salvation; I cannot deny God’s work in my life.

While reading this book, my prayer turned from, “God, please give me a child,” to, “God, if it be Your will to give me a child, help my husband and me to raise this child to be like Esther – to be faithful in a secular world, to recognize his or her worth in You, to acknowledge that he or she can make a difference in this world and change unjust laws that supposedly cannot be revoked. Help my child know when to act and when to wait on You, and help me to do the same.”

That very week, I got a positive pregnancy test. When we found out we were having a girl, well, what other name fits better than Esther?

Works Cited:
Swindoll, Charles R. Esther: A Woman of Strength & Dignity. Nashville, Tennessee: Word Publishing Inc, 1997. Print.

20 Week Ultrasound, Anatomy Scan, and Gender Reveal

I cannot describe how impatient I was while counting down the days to our 20 Week anatomy scan. The excitement for it was similar to how I felt waiting for my wedding day. However, I felt no fear concerning my wedding day; there was fear involved in waiting for this appointment. Dreams of giving birth to a deformed baby started way back when I was a teenager. Now that I am pregnant, I have been even more worried that something would be medically or even cosmetically wrong. To clarify – I will love any child God gives me, and my husband feels the same way. But of course, I want my child to be healthy because I want the best for my child. And I worry about appearance because people can be so rude and so cruel.

We also decided we wanted to know the gender. Well, perhaps I should say I wanted to know the gender, and my easy-going husband went along with it. I have had a lot of trouble “connecting” with this baby – to the point where I don’t feel like I am “with child.” All the vomiting makes me feel like I have caught some terrible disease, especially back when I was literally bed-ridden with nausea. It’s hard to feel excited about anything when you’re terrified to take your next sip of fluids. However, many pregnant women who faced the same challenges felt much closer to their pre-born child when they knew their child’s gender. I believed this would help me, also. Referring to the baby as “he” or “she” rather than “it” or “he or she” would make this more personal for me. Also, after reading birth stories written by other moms with clinical depression/anxiety, some said they were so exhausted and overwhelmed and overstimulated at the birth, that they completely missed the gender announcement and had to ask to have it repeated. Knowing how well I handle anxiety and stimuli, I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened to me.

Some people have told me they are disappointed or even offended I’m not being more traditional or conservative by waiting until the birth for the gender reveal. Some things are better left unsaid. There is no right or wrong in choosing to know or to wait, and each couple’s decision should be respected.

The day finally came! My husband and I got to the clinic super early, but we were taken to the ultrasound room almost right away. I had the same excited/nervous feeling I get when I’m about to meet someone. After all, I was about to see my child’s face for the first time, learn the gender, and learn which of the two names we had picked would be the one! We chatted with the technician for a minute, and she asked us if we had names picked out. We told her our choice for a boy and our choice for a girl. Then the scan began. As soon as the technician touched the wand to my belly, that little face came right into view on the big screen, and my heart completely melted. I swear, I saw a smile!

The technician tried to determine the gender, but our baby was crossing his/her legs with one foot in the crotch, being completely modest. So the technician said she would keep trying between each anatomy scan. Next, she looked at the baby’s head. We could see the two hemispheres of the brain and the cerebellum. The tech measured each section. Everything was at the appropriate size, and the baby’s head was symmetrical. All those news stories of babies born with half a brain were washed away. Next, she looked at the baby’s face (pictured below). The triangle is the baby’s nose. At first, I was thinking Well that’s an unflattering picture, but then the tech said that this image ruled out cleft lip (although not cleft palate). She said Baby’s face was just perfect. At this news, I totally burst into tears. I was so happy and so relieved. (I think part of the reason I am so worried is because I had a terrible overbite that almost required surgery, and I was bullied relentlessly throughout grade school – including getting punched in the face by boys several years older than me. Like I said, people can be cruel.)

Next, the tech checked Baby’s heart. My husband and I could easily see all the chambers of the heart, and we could see them pumping. Baby’s heart rate was 153 beats per minute (normal), and we could see the heart rate in a second image below the first, scrolling by with every beat. We were just amazed by both the technology and the complexity of the heart itself. Then the tech blew us away when she told us the heart of a 20 week old pre-born baby is the size of an M&M!

The tech checked for gender again, but those little legs were still stubbornly crossed! So we moved on with the rest of the anatomy. We saw Baby’s arms, hands, and fingers. The Baby was moving his/her arms all around and even looked like he/she was waving.

Baby also has both feet and all 10 toes.

Then we got to see the legs. Oh, my goodness, those little legs! They were crossed at the ankles and just completely adorable. We could see the tibia and fibula in each leg. I could practically picture my baby lying on his/her back with his/her knees drawn up and bent and ankles crossed. Again, my heart just overflowed.

But oh, those crossed legs were stubborn! So then I started wiggling around, and the tech started poking me with the wand. Eventually, Baby got annoyed and moved. Those legs uncrossed and went over Baby’s head! The technician said, “Whew! You have a little gymnast!”

Although I could make out the bum, I had no idea about anything else, but the tech smiled and said, “Oooooh, I know!” *pause for effect* “You have a little Esther Grace!” The fact that she used the name we had told her at the beginning of the scan rather than saying the generic “It’s a girl!” made the experience completely personal and unique. I felt like I was being introduced to my child. (Although I’m sure this won’t even remotely compare with when Esther is born!) I was laughing and crying. My husband was a little shocked. He has three brothers, and many of his relatives had only sons. He didn’t realize it until that moment, but he was subconsciously expecting this baby to be a boy. He was happy, but surprised. Likewise, I would have been happy to have a boy. I wasn’t concerned about which gender the baby was; I just wanted the knowledge of it. I do, however, hope to have at least one daughter and one son someday.

I asked the technician how sure she was that we have a girl, and the tech said, “One hundred percent. Definitely.” I told her I know a few friends who ended up giving birth to the opposite gender they were told (even with the newer technology), and my tech said again, “Oh no, definitely a girl.” Then she explained the image to me and rotated it around for other views and angles. At that point, even the stubborn skeptic in me was convinced.

Our technician was so awesome, and she immediately went back to Esther’s face and let us watch her move around a little and interact with her. She started gulping down amniotic fluid – and I mean chugging it. We could see her little mouth open and close, and we could even see her tiny tongue working as she swallowed! Even the technician was amazed at how determined Esther was to drink as much as she could. The tech asked, “What did you eat before you came here?”
“A brownie,” I said.
“Esther loves brownies!” the tech said.
(Pre-born babies can taste flavors in the amniotic fluid based off what the mom eats. I’ve read research about this even back before I was pregnant for some of my Pro-Life activities, but it was amazing to actually see it!)

Then Esther started rubbing her face with her hands and then she was possibly sucking her thumb. She was also all squished into my right side, which wasn’t surprising to me, since I have only felt kicks on my right and in the front, middle.

The technician put all the images on a CD for us to take home. When we got home, we were thrilled to find video of Esther drinking!

After calling our parents and siblings, we made a FaceBook gender announcement:

I then spent the rest of the evening baking cupcakes, hollowing out the middle, filling it with strawberry frosting, recovering it, and topping it with white frosting and either a pink or blue question mark. The next morning, we brought the cupcakes to my husband’s Bible class on Genesis at church. I wrote on the board,
“Blue or Pink
What do you think?
Take a guess
Then look inside.
To know the rest
See where the answer hides.”


We told everyone to take a pink or blue cupcake, based on their guess. Once everyone was there and ready, we had them all bite into the cupcake. Everyone started shouting, “It’s a girl,” and “It’s pink!” with mouthfuls of cupcakes and frosting. It was so fun!

Next entry will be the story behind our choosing Esther Grace for a name. ❤

My First Mother’s Day

This past weekend was very emotional and wonderful. Ever since I married my best friend, I have spent Mother’s Day looking forward to the day we would be parents together, but we wanted a few years of marriage to ourselves and some time to finish college and grad school / seminary. However, as what seemed like “all” my friends and acquaintances were getting pregnant, jealousy started creeping in. Add to this that my job is in childcare, I started becoming more impatient for it to be “my turn” and to raise a child with my husband. Mother’s Day 2014 was difficult. It felt so unfair. By that point, I knew there was nothing more I wanted to do with my life than to be a mother – to provide someone with a happy, stable childhood and raise someone to have the capabilities of making this world a better place. Yet, my husband and I were waiting for a better time. As friends around me experienced miscarriages, I worried that if I ever did have the chance to become pregnant, that it would end tragically.

I have two special memories that really stand out to me from last year’s Mother’s Day. The first happened at our church, which provided carnations to all the moms. I was given a carnation from the woman handing them out, who told me she had a feeling it was God’s plan to have motherhood in my future. Later that day, my friend, for whom I was nannying, called me to wish me a “Happy Mother’s Day.” When I stuttered in confusion, she thanked me for being a “second mom” to her daughter. This conversation brought tears of understanding and happiness.

This year, I was pregnant for Mother’s Day. My husband and I celebrated Mother’s Day for a few reasons:

  • A pre-born baby is genetically human and scientifically alive and fully unique in personhood from the moment of conception.
  • Parents have to make so many choices and life adjustments for their pre-born baby’s health (such as nutrition, medication, and following the recommended do-not list) and sometimes these decisions require great sacrifice.
  • We believe that people who have lost a child through miscarriage are parents; they feel the same overwhelming love and grief of parents who have lost a child after birth.

I had a rough week with the clinical depression, so we decided to take Mother’s Day easy and spread out celebrations. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, I spent much of my free time playing the computer game “The Testament of Sherlock Holmes.” It was nice to relax, and the baby is much more active when I am relaxing. I could see my reflection in the laptop screen and watch my belly move. It was great bonding time.

Saturday, my husband grilled hot dogs over charcoal (making sure mine was heated to a safe temperature for the baby), and he surprised me with an O’Doul’s (non-alcoholic beer), telling me about the research he did on O’Doul’s and pregnancy. Then that evening, we went to get my favorite ice cream – cake batter ice cream from Cold Stone. I also got a little tart cherry frozen yogurt on the side. We sat in the car while the sun set and chatted while we ate and listened to the country music playing at the near-by restaurant. (Unfortunately, the Cold Stone and my morning sickness didn’t get along, and I spent the rest of the evening and all night sick. Still worth it.)

Sunday, my husband had his regular church duties, and it was my week to go to late service. (I flip flop early and late services every week so I see all the members.) I woke up, and he was gone already. I got ready to go, and just before I was about to leave, my husband came running across the street from the church to our vicarage house to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and walk me over to church. It was then that I noticed a card was on the table. He had one of his figure-eight birds drawn on the envelope. (I used to tease him in high school about his bird doodles.) He messed up this bird’s beak, which struck me as hilarious, and I laughed until I cried. Then I composed myself, read the card, we walked over to church together.

After church, we went to Target and Michael’s to pick up a white maternity shirt and some pink and blue fabric paint. We had our 20-week-ultrasound scheduled for the next day, and we were hoping to learn the gender. We decided to do our FaceBook gender announcement with pictures of him with his hands over my belly in a heart shape, and then a second picture of his hands removed to reveal handprints on the shirt, either pink or blue. So we spent the afternoon picking up the supplies for that.

It was a wonderful first Mother’s Day, and I am so blessed to have this child and so blessed to have my husband. I am so thankful that God has all this planned – all in His time.

Learn about Lyme

Why should you learn about Lyme Disease?

  1. This fatal disease has reached epidemic proportions – with even more cases than AIDS, Breast Cancer, and West Nile Virus. You or someone you know probably has Lyme.
  2. Many common diseases are linked to it – including MS, ALS, Parkinson’s, Fibromyalgia, and Alzheimer’s – and the cure for these diseases could be linked to the treatment for Lyme.
  3. Lyme disease is not only spread by tick bites, but it is also sexually transmitted, and it can be transmitted in utero from mother to child.
  4. Lyme Disease is difficult to detect, difficult to test, and in late-stage is difficult to treat.
  5. Late-stage Lyme is not acknowledged by the CDC and IDSA due to political and financial scandal, forcing Lyme-literate doctors to be prohibited from treating late-stage Lyme patients.

Less than a year ago, my knowledge of Lyme disease was next to none. I had seen the documentary Under our Skin, which was an eye-opener but left me skeptical about the conspiracy with the CDC and IDSA. When a close friend was misdiagnosed with Fibromyalgia for nearly three years before finally being diagnosed with Lyme Disease, I came face-to-face with how devastating and utterly debilitating this disease truly was. Watching her struggle just to find a doctor who would give her an official diagnosis and treat her for late-stage Lyme, even though she tested positive twice, has been one of the most frustrating and drawn-out experiences I have witnessed. Her experience has taught me that the public desperately needs accurate information about Lyme disease – because her story is all too common. Here is a crash course:

  1. Epidemic proportions of a fatal disease:

As more and more houses are built in tick territory, the risk of Lyme Disease increases. In 1989, Lyme was reported in almost every state in America (1). The CDC, in 2013, reported 50,000 HIV/AIDS cases and 200,000 breast cancer cases. The CDC reports there are 300,000 new Lyme cases each year. Some neighborhoods, such as Coatseville, Pennsylvania, have entire neighborhoods debilitated by Lyme. The disease is not exclusive to America; one well-known pediatric Lyme doctor interviewed on the documentary Under our Skin, Charles Ray Jones, MD, has treated over 18,000 children from every state in America, almost every province in Canada, and from every continent (1).

Lyme disease is similar to AIDS and cancer in one alarming way: it can be fatal (3). (This is why it’s not a good idea to tell a Lyme patient something such as, “At least it’s not cancer.”)

You may not personally know someone with Lyme, but perhaps some of these famous Lyme patients are familiar to you. Click on their names to read their stories.

  • Yolanda Foster, from Real Housewives, lost the ability to read and write. It took one year for a diagnosis.
  • Amy Tan, author of several books including The Joy Luck Club, whose Lyme caused her to develop psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations and severe anxiety. It took four years for a diagnosis.
  • Daryl Hall, musician who developed food and alcohol allergies due to Lyme.
  • Angeli Vanlaanen, American Olympic skier who was undiagnosed for 14 years before finally undergoing two years of treatment and is now working on a film called LymeLight.
  • Avril Lavigne, Canadian musician who was bed-ridden, unable even to shower.
  1. Many common diseases may be related to Lyme infection:

Lyme Disease is an infection of a bacteria called the Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete, which looks similar to the Syphilis spirochete. The Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete can attack different parts of the body, which in turn causes a vast assortment of symptoms, making Lyme both difficult to diagnose and also indicating some common diseases may not be separate diseases at all, but symptoms of Lyme. These diseases include, but are not limited to:

  • Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
  • Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis / Lou Gehrig’s Disease (ALS)
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA)
  • Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)
  • Fibromyalgia
  • Alzheimer’s
  • Parkinson’s
  • Food allergies
  • Psychiatric illnesses

These diseases have no known causes. Some evidence suggests the cause is Lyme. Just as the Syphilis spirochete causes dementia, perhaps the Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete causes Alzheimer’s. Dr. Alan McDonald, MD, extracted DNA from 10 Alzheimer brains that came from the Harvard University Brain Bank. The spirochete that causes Lyme Disease was found in seven out of 10 of those brains (1). Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt, MD has not had one single MS, ALS, Parkinson’s, or Alzheimer’s patient in the past five years who did not also test positive for Lyme. Likewise, people with late-stage Lyme often develop Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s, and female Lyme patients are especially likely to develop MS, according to Dr. Klinghardt (1). A correlation definitely exists.

Another example is Dr. David Martz, MD, who was diagnosed with ALS and given two years to live. He declined to the point of being unable to be active for more than an hour. He was treated by intravenous antibiotics for Lyme Disease, and within a month was able to be active for up to five hours. His doctor believes that without the Lyme treatment, Dr. Martz would have declined just like any ALS patient, eventually being unable to breathe or swallow (1).

The American Journal of Psychiatry stated in 2002, “There is a higher prevalence of antibodies to Borrelia burgdorferi in psychiatric patients than in healthy subjects” (4). Mental illnesses such as Bipolar Disorder could be linked to Lyme. There is also the rare phenomenon known as “Lyme Rage.” Terry Sedlacek, a Lyme patient, walked into a church one day and shot a pastor to death. The Sedlacek family had been attempting to get proper Lyme treatment for years without much help. (12) Doctors now also believe there could be a connection between the Sandy Hook Shootings, as Adam Lanza’s mother had MS, and Adam, himself, had mental and physical degeneration charactistic of Lyme. Adam and his mother lived in a Lyme “hot spot.” (13)

(It is important to note that crimes of Lyme patients cannot be excused, but rather, this information should be used to intensify the motivation to increase Lyme education. Please also note that it is very, very rare for a Lyme patient to experience “Lyme Rage,” and no stigma against Lyme patients should be created.)

3. Lyme Disease can be congenitally and sexually transmitted:

Elise Brady-Moe from Newtown, Connecticut was confirmed to have Lyme Disease by her OB, Dr. Richard Horowitz. She became pregnant near the end of her treatment, and had a healthy pregnancy up through 15 weeks. At 18 weeks pregnant, she suffered a miscarriage. The autopsy confirmed that both the fetus and placenta were infected with Lyme. She later had a successful pregnancy. However, her son tested positive for the Lyme antibody, meaning he contracted the disease in utero, and he could one day become symptomatic. (1) At the age of three, her son did become symptomatic and was diagnosed with Lyme (2).

Jared from Coatseville, Pennsylvania is a pediatric Lyme patient and another testimony to the congenital transmission of Lyme. His mother was diagnosed with Lyme while she was pregnant with him, but doctors assured her the baby could not get Lyme in utero. When Jared was a toddler, he became symptomatic, yet doctors remained unconcerned. By the age of six, Jared had suffered brain damage and was later diagnosed with Lyme. Unfortunately, the brain damage is permanent, and Jared is now unable even to speak. (1)

Dr. Horowitz has seen babies who have lower IQ, developmental problems, seizures, and other disorders which were not picked up right away because the mother was not known to have Lyme beforehand. Drs. Macdonald and Bernard Raxlen, MD. both testify that Lyme has been confirmed in the autopsies of fetuses and placentas (1).

Likewise, evidence also suggests that Lyme Disease is sexually transmitted. A Lyme patient interviewed for the documentary Under Our Skin 2: Emergence named Mandy Hughes likely sexually transferred the Borrelia spirochete to her husband, who has tested positive for the Lyme antibody but remains symptom-free (2). Dr. Rachael Sticker, MD described an article by the Journal of Investigative Medicine on genital secretions in Lyme patients, saying, “What we found was that you can find live bacteria that cause Lyme Disease, and also the same strain of the spirochete in married couples”(2). It makes sense that if the Syphilis spirochete can be sexually transmitted, then the similar Borrelia spirochete can also be sexually transmitted.

  1. Lyme Disease is difficult to detect, difficult to test, and in late-stage is difficult to treat:

Why is it so difficult to detect? Many people rely on the “Bulls-eye rash” as a tell-tale symptom of Lyme. However, there are different strains of Borrelia (the bacteria that causes Lyme), and not all strains cause the “bulls-eye” rash. In fact, only 9% of Lyme cases involve the bulls-eye rash, and only 50% of cases involve any rash at all (5). People also believe that tick-borne diseases can only be transferred if a tick has been attached longer than 24 hours, but studies have shown that disease can be transferred in less than 24 hours. A tick bite is also difficult to find, since ticks can sometimes be very small – almost invisible – and ticks prefer to stay in warm, moist places such as the underarm, the back of the knee, the hairline, and other hard-to-see places (6). Lastly, initial symptoms are very similar to the flu, including fever, chills, aches, and nausea (7).

Lyme disease is also difficult to confirm with a test. The two tests that are used most commonly are called the Western-blot and the ELISA. However, these tests – among others – can produce false-negatives (8).  Dr. Lorraine Johnson, MD has tested Rhesus monkeys who were treated for Lyme disease. The monkeys received negative test results, but spirochetes were still found in their tissues. Dr. Johnson states, “So something happens in the immune system that causes the tests to come back negative after the disease has been present for a certain amount of time, even though the disease has not been cured” (2). Drs. Burrascano and MacDonald are working to create a more accurate test. Dr. Morten Laane, PhD in Oslo, Norway is working on a new method, in which he dilutes blood samples with a thin solution of water and salt, which makes Lyme visible under a microscope in a blood test. (2)

If caught early, Lyme is easily treated with a few months of antibiotics. Why is late-stage Lyme so difficult to treat? Joseph Burrascano Jr., MD points out that the Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete can learn to live in the body without being killed by hiding from both antibiotics and the immune system. Dr. MacDonald discovered how this is possible while studying a sample of Borrelia burgdorferi under a microscope. He saw “a large colony of organisms protected by a gel-like substance.” This substance is called a “biofilm,” which protects certain bacteria from harm, including from antibiotics and immune systems, allowing Lyme to infect places such as the joints and the brain. In order for late-stage Lyme to be treated and eradicated, this bio-film must first be destroyed. (1) These biofilms can be broken down using certain enzymes, such as the enzymes from silkworms (9). Once the biofilms are dissolved, the patient’s body is flooded with bacteria, making the symptoms even more intense. However, the unprotected bacteria can then be destroyed with long-term antibiotics, which must sometimes be given intravenously.

  1. Lyme is not properly acknowledged by the CDC and IDSA due to political and financial scandal, forcing Lyme-literate doctors to be prohibited from treating Lyme patients:

The Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) and Centers for Disease Control (CDC) both state that Lyme is treated with only two-to-four weeks of antibiotics, that 60-70% of Lyme patients develop a rash, that Lyme cannot be transferred sexually or congenitally, and that late-stage chronic Lyme does not exist but is purely psychological. (10, 11)

After all of the information and sources we just covered, how can this be? The answer is money. It became legal for government institutions and universities to patent and profit from live organisms in 1980. Lyme was discovered the next year. Treating Lyme with cheap antibiotics is not a money-maker, so experts raced to patent vaccines and test kits, withholding information from colleagues for their own purposes. In addition, insurance companies would want to avoid the high expense of long-term treatment for late-stage Lyme. For this reason, insurance companies and HMOs will partner and fund guidelines authors to discredit late-stage Lyme and its treatment. (1)

 The authors of medical guidelines should have no conflicts of interests, and yet it is obvious that the IDSA Lyme Guideline authors do. Science journalist Kris Newby breaks it down: There are 14 authors, including Dr. Gary Wormser, MD and Dr. Eugene Shapiro, MD. Six of 14 authors or their universities hold patents connected with Lyme. Four of 14 have been receiving funding from Lyme test kit manufacturers. Four of 14 have been paid by insurance companies to write Lyme guidelines. Nine of 14 have been paid by Lyme vaccine manufacturers. (1)

The authors of Lyme medical guidelines should consider all Lyme research from various sources. Yet the IDSA authors, including Drs. Wormser and Shapiro, quote themselves as references to their own guidelines (11)! Dr. Samuel Donta, MD was a former Lyme Guidelines panelist who testifies that chronic Lyme was never discussed. He says the panel never met again once Dr. Wormser took over the chairmanship. Dr. Donta also points out that no other infectious disease is treated in the amount of time the IDSA and CDC have set for Lyme (two-to-four weeks), including Tuberculosis and Hepatitis, which takes a year, and HIV, which has indefinite treatment. Long-term treatment is not a new concept, says Dr. Donta. (1)

Why is it so terrible that the CDC and IDSA Lyme Guidelines limit Lyme treatment to two-to-four weeks of antibiotics? It is a tragedy because insurance companies can refuse to pay for the treatment of late-stage Lyme patients, as happened with author Jordan Fisher Smith of California, whose insurance company stopped coverage for his treatment from Dr. Burrascano and is forcing him to see a doctor who will neither diagnose nor treat chronic, late-stage Lyme. Insurance companies can simply claim late-stage Lyme does not exist and quote the Guideline as reference. (1)

In addition, doctors who do treat late-stage Lyme patients are at risk to lose their insurance, their clinics, and their medical licenses – and the risk is all too real for some. Dr. Joseph Jemsek spent a year requesting that the IDSA Lyme Guidelines be revisited by doctors and researchers who had a variety of theories. His requests were denied and followed by a trial which ended in the suspension of his license for one year for not following IDSA guidelines, such as prescribing long-term antibiotics and intravenous rather than oral antibiotics. Blue Cross Blue Shield then terminated their insurance contract with him and sued him for 100 million dollars (1). In 2014, Dr. Jemsek was in his seventh year of bankruptcy, with legal fees amounting to 10 million dollars, and had only a restricted medical license (2). Likewise, Dr. Charles Jones, despite healing over 18,000 pediatric Lyme patients, was also legally attacked by the IDSA. His battle lasted 8 years. (2) Jim Wilson, founder of the Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation, stated, “As of last year [2013], 100% of Canadian doctors  who have become publicly known as treating Lyme Disease have now been shut down” (2).

Perhaps the worst effect of the IDSA’s guidelines happen to parents searching for treatment for their children with Lyme. State agencies who follow the IDSA’s guidelines can have children removed from their parents’ homes for seeking aggressive treatment (14). Families are literally torn apart because of the IDSA’s petty selfishness.

Despite requests sent to the IDSA for a revisitation of the Lyme guidelines, including requests sent by the Connecticut Attorney General, the IDSA remains firm. Kris Newby filed a Freedom of Information Act asking for financial disclosures from the CDC. By law, the CDC was required to release these documents within a month. The documents were not released for 5 years, 4 months, and 24 days. When the documents came, over half were censored (2).

It is clear that the IDSA and the CDC do not have an interest in healing people and saving lives, but rather, an interest only in themselves and their wallets. With so many new Lyme patients each year, hopefully the CDC and IDSA will be forced to revisit their treatment guidelines, and hopefully more doctors will become educated and experienced in diagnosing and treating late-term Lyme. With so many new discoveries such as the biofilm, enzymes which dissolve biofilm, and Dr. Laane’s new testing technique, there is hope that Lyme – even late-stage Lyme – can be diagnosed and treated more effectively.

What can you do to limit Lyme and spread awareness?

  1. Click here (15) to read tick bite prevention guidelines, and click here (16) to find out what to do when a tick bites. For my family, I use DEET-free repellent and do tick checks after coming inside from playing. If any of us were to be bitten by a tick, I would remove it as soon as possible using tweezers as close to the tick’s mouth as possible. Do not use Vaseline. Do not burn it. I would then ask a doctor for a three week prescription of antibiotics to treat Lyme and other tick-borne disease early on. If a doctor will only follow the CDC and IDSA recommendations, I would find an ILADS doctor. (I normally avoid antibiotics like the plague, but I make an exception when it comes to Lyme.)
  2. Remember Lyme can be sexually transmitted; make wise decisions regarding your sexual activity.
  3. If you suspect you or a loved one has Lyme, find a Lyme-literate ILADS doctor who is trained to look for all the symptoms of Lyme and will treat late-stage Lyme. You can find a Lyme-literate doctor by clicking here (17).
  4. Educate yourself. Read the sources listed below. Watch the Under our Skin documentaries. (You can watch the first documentary for free by clicking here). Save the information for future use in case you need it. Share what you learn with your family, friends, coworkers, and social networks.
  5. Contact the IDSA and CDC, get involved with Lyme Organizations, and sign petitions such as this one.

Sources:

(1) Under Our Skin. Open Eye Pictures, 2008. DVD. http://www.underourskin.com/film/

(2) Under Our Skin 2: Emergence. Open Eye Pictures, 2014. DVD.  http://www.underourskin.com/sequel/

(3) “The Overlooked – And Deadly – Complications of Lyme Disease and Its Coinfections.” The Overlooked – And Deadly – Complications of Lyme Disease and Its Coinfections. Shea Medical, Jan. 2015. Web. 4 May 2015. http://www.sheamedical.com/the-overlooked%E2%80%93and-deadly%E2%80%93complications-of-lyme-disease-and-its-coinfections

(4) Hájek, Tomáš, Beáta Pašková, Daniela Janovská, Radvan Bahbouh, Peter Hájek, Jan Libiger, and Cyril Höschl. “Higher Prevalence of Antibodies to Borrelia Burgdorferi in Psychiatric Patients Than in Healthy Subjects.” American Journal of Psychiatry. American Psychiatric Association, Feb. 2002. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/doi/pdf/10.1176/appi.ajp.159.2.297

(5) Jefferson Medical College, Thomas Jefferson University, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19107, USA. “An Update on the Diagnosis and Treatment of Early Lyme Disease: Focusing on the Bull’s Eye, You May Miss the Mark.” National Center for Biotechnology Information. U.S. National Library of Medicine, 1 Nov. 2010. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17945460

(6) “Tick Bites, First Aid.” SkinSight. Logical Images, Inc., 1 Jan. 2013. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.skinsight.com/firstaid/firstAidTickBites.htm

(7) “Lyme Disease Symptoms.” Lyme Disease. LymeDisease.org. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.lymedisease.org/lyme101/lyme_disease/lyme_symptoms.html

(8) “Laboratory Tests.” Lyme and Tick-Borne Diseases Research Center. Columbia University Medical Center. Web. 4 May 2015. http://www.columbia-lyme.org/patients/ld_lab_test.html

(9) “Lyme Disease and Biofilms: Borrelia Burgdorferi’s Shield, Forum and Place of Commerce.” – Tired of Lyme L Lyme Disease Support & Consolation. Tired of Lyme, 1 Jan. 2015. Web. 4 May 2015. http://www.tiredoflyme.com/biofilm.html#.VUbB0o5Vikp

(10) “Lyme Disease.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Saving Lives, Protecting People. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 20 Apr. 2015. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.cdc.gov/lyme/index.html

(11) Wormser, Gary, Raymond Dattwyler, Eugene Shapiro, John Halperin, Allen Steere, Mark Klempner, Peter Krause, Johan Bakken, Franc Strle, Gerold Stanek, Linda Bockenstedt, Durland Fish, J. Stephen Dumler, and Robert Nadelman. “The Clinical Assessment, Treatment, and Prevention of Lyme Disease, Human Granulocytic Anaplasmosis, and Babesiosis: Clinical Practice Guidelines by the Infectious Diseases Society of America.” IDSA Guidelines (2007). Infectious Diseases Society of America. Web. 4 May 2015. http://www.idsociety.org/uploadedfiles/idsa/guidelines-patient_care/pdf_library/lyme%20disease.pdf

(12) Moore, Elaine. “Is Terry Sedlacek’s Lyme Disease Linked To Maryville Pastor’s Shooting?” EmaxHealth. 9 Mar. 2009. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.emaxhealth.com/1035/39/29720/terry-sedlaceks-lyme-disease-linked-maryville-pastors-shooting.html

(13) Bernstein, Jessica. “Did Adam Lanza Have Lyme Disease?” CounterPunch: Tells the Facts, Names the Names. CounterPunch, 13 Jan. 2013. Web. 4 May 2015.  http://www.counterpunch.org/2013/01/11/did-adam-lanza-have-lyme-disease/

(14)  “NEWS: IDSA Ignores IOM Recommendations for Lyme Guidelines.” LymeDisease.org. 6 May 2015. Web. 8 May 2015.  http://lymedisease.org/news/lyme_disease_views/idsa-ignores-iom.html

(15) “Learn the steps to take for Lyme Disease Prevention.” LymeDisease.org. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 May 2017. http://www.lymedisease.org/lyme-basics/ticks/personal-protection/

(16) “What do you do if you get a tick bite?” ILADS. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 May 2017.  http://www.ilads.org/lyme/what-to-do-if-bit-by-tick.php

(17) “ILADS Doctor Referral for Lyme Disease.” ILADS. N.p., n.d. Web. 27 May 2017.  http://ilads.org/ilads_media/physician-referral/